01 March 2007

The Gordon Klingenschmitt Movie:

Proudly Brought to You by: Sanctimonious Productions
The True Story of How a Real American Fraud Bombed Out of the Navy!

The Rise & Fall of Gordon Klingenschmitt!
Starring Former Air Force Missile Officer, Defrocked Navy Chaplain, and Federally Convicted Criminal--Gordon Klingenschmitt (as Himself)

15 February 2007

Gordon Klingenschmitt Is Doing All He Can to Make Himself a Household Name

This Just In...

...Gordon Klingenschmitt Works Tirelessly

to Make Himself a Household Name...

God Says He Already Has His Reward!

Delusions of Adequacy: The Chaplain Career of Gordon Klingenschmitt

Gordon Klingenschmitt Takes His Freak Show on the Road

"He had delusions of adequacy: The Chaplain Career of Gordon Klingenschmitt"

"When it Really Isn't About Praying: How Gordon Klingenschmitt Gets God Blamed for His Sins"

"I never exaggerate. I just remember big: My Impact on Keeping the Right to Pray in Jesus Name."

14 February 2007

13 February 2007

New Gordon Klingenschmitt Titles

"What Color is Your Handbasket: Planning for the Times Your Life Goes to Hell"

KlingenWars - Episode II: Attack of the Clown!"

11 February 2007

*Book Title Suggestions for the Gordon Klingenschmitt Story*

"Rosa Parks, Ghandi and Me: Gordon Klingenschmitt Explores the Virtue of Civil Disobedience"

"Interpreting Naval Instructions: The Hermeneutics of Making them Say What You Believe they Should Say"

"Any Publicity is Good Publicity: Gordon Klingenschmitt Shares Secrets of How to Get the Press to Notice You for All the Wrong Reasons"

"How I Fell On My Sword for Jesus...And Missed! The Gordon Klingenschmitt Story"

"A Bridge Too Many: How A Former Navy Chaplain Burned Every Bridge Imaginable"

"The Silence of the Chaps: A Scriptural Guide to Testifying in Your Own Defense"

"Yes, they are out to Get You: The Story of Gordon Klingenschmitt"

"Maximized Stupidity--Gordon Klingenschmitt Gives His Tips on the Modern Day Messianic/Martyrdom Complex and How You Can Make It Work For You"

"And God Said: "Shut Up Gordon!": A Former Chaplain Explains His Defense at Court-Martial"

"Office Espionage: How to Keep Track of Everything You Boss and Co-Workers Say; More Uses For Hi-Tech Recording Gear"

"Homeless, Jobless and Clueless: the Gordon Klingenschmitt Story."

"I Said It. Fundamentalists Believe It. That Settles It!" Gordon Klingenschmitt Explains Truth as He Understands It

"The Art of Self Promotion: A Former Chaplain's Inside Secret Guide to Getting Noticed"

"Hooked On Arrogance, It Worked For Me! The Gordon Klingenschmitt Story"

"Be Your Own Publicist: A Former Navy Chaplain Shows You How"

"Gordon Klingenschmitt's White House Diet: 14 Days to a Slimmer
Waistline and Slimmer Reputation"

"Life's Tough: It's Tougher if You're Klingenschmitt"

"Stupidiciary Atonement: Falling on Your Sword for No Good Reason to
Benefit Others"

"The Difference Maker: Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Liability"

"10 Things I Hate About Lou: Gordon Klingenschmitt Lists His Top Complaints Against the Former Chief of Navy Chaplains"

"Secretary Rumsfeld Lied To Me and Other Abuses of the Executive Branch; A Former Chaplain Shares His Views of The Bush Administration"

"The Expert's Guide to Self-Isolation and Irrelevance -- The Gordon Klingenschmitt Story"

"25 Ways to Lose With People: How to Make Others Feel Like Crap and Hate Your Guts"

"6 Attitudes of Whiners: Essential Attitudes for Pissing Everybody Off"

"Boomerang: When It All Comes Back On You: A Former Chaplain Speaks Out"

"Chaps: The Authorized Pseudo Biography of a Real American Hero"

"A Guide To Conducting Non Pluralistic Memorial Services in a Pluralistic Setting"

"The Battle of Anzio: My Epic Struggle Against the Powers of Darkness"

"How to Be a Minister in a Protestant Denomination and Still Remain a Valid Roman Catholic Lay Leader: A Former Chaplain Shares His Secrets"

"How to Use the Book of Common Prayer to Conduct an Altar Call: Adapting Ancient Liturgies to Suit Your Needs"

"So that Others Might Pray in Jesus Name: A Chaplain's Sacrifice"

"Strategies for Changing Chaplaincy Endorsements: A Guide to Making this Work for You"

"A Parsing Guide to the UCMJ"

"Shipwreck, The Gordon Klingenschmitt Story -- A Modern Day Story of
Presumption, Hubris, & Insolence"

"How To Persuade the World Through Giving It All Up For Nothing"

"The Gordon 'Chaps' Klingenschmitt Story: How My CMEO Failed Me."

"Norfolk 2007--GJK Sings The CMEO Blues"